MY BEAUTIFUL BROWN-EYED BOY

 

I heard a relationship counsellor once say, "when you find someone who does not make you afraid of the future, try your hardest to not let them go."

This got me thinking a lot.

Now, I beg to differ. I'll tell you why.

Once upon a time, I knew a guy. He wasn't like any other.
You know how they say something is so wrong it feels right? Exactly! He was human version of that.

Naturally, I got used to him and his antics, to the point I craved it. He was like that song on your phone that you'd always skip. You don't want to delete it, but you never played it. Until one day, you're in the shower and you can't come out to skip it so you let it play on. After playing it twice, you realise it's not so bad. A week later, you're asking yourself, "Where have you been all my life!"

Still quite abstract? Let me make this clearer.

Your typical guy plans your tomorrow with him, like:
"We'd have an apartment in East Legon."
"Our children will attend this school."
"No...we should get married in this church."

It wasn't like that with my beautiful brown-eyed boy. With him, there were only conversations centered on the past, and the present. On the days when I dared to dream about the future, he'd make it clear to me that he wasn't sure. He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but he hoped to GOD to be there with me, through it all.

At the time, I thought, "Who the blazes is this man?" "You are not sure?!" "How hard is it to just tell me what I want to hear?" Like, just make me happy, boy! You don't have to mean it! Because this right here, is not assuring enough. Give me something to work with. Something to put my heart at ease. Ah!

As females, we're tempted to believe what we hear. Your typical guy has picked on it. He'll tell you what you want to hear and give you pseudo-assurance. He'll let you believe the sun rises for you, and the moon wanes at your behest.

My beautiful brown-eyed boy? Nuh-uh.

He'd call a spade a spade and when he was uncertain about something, he'd let you know. He never covered mediocrity with lies. He owned his mistakes and never left room for doubt.

Oh are you asking me how I felt? Well...apart from when I felt like carrying a mountain and throwing it in his face, and when I felt like ripping his hair off, I was totally civilised.

Strange enough, I quickly went from:

"Why the hell am I tolerating this?" TO

"Our kind of love is beautiful, and I wouldn't want it any other way"


Once upon a time, I still know this guy- my beautiful brown-eyed boy. It's been ten years of doing love together. Ten years of taking every day at a time. Ten years of treading cautiously on the subject of "tomorrow" or the "future". But I tell it's been the most amazing period of my life.

So, I beg to differ. I beg to rephrase: "When you find someone who makes you afraid of the future, but promises heaven and earth to want to try, to want to be there...it's not exactly an assurance. In fact, it's scary. But wouldn't you rather be scared with them, than go through life without them?

This is not an advice....call it an esprit de l'escalier of this writer. Because like you, she too realised almost late that, she'd want nothing more than to write about this beautiful brown-eyed boy for the rest of her life.


~MzSefa♥️~